Saturday, June 6, 2015

mein kampfhund

     It happened on New Year's Day that the ubiquitous Dr. Beans decided, in the chaos that was his existence, to eat the mail carrier. The dog was everywhere--on the edge of the porch, in the middle of the street, on the fringes of society. The mail carrier was only in one place--at the edge of the grass.

      He had spent the night collecting tolls on the Thruway, his tongue wagging in joy as EZ-Pass-equipped cars sped through, collecting dog spittle on their windows. The mail carrier's eyes shone brightly. Ever since the salivary gland transplant and subsequent tongue-swelling episode, his night job turned his mouth into a veritable spit-storm and turned the Cash and EZ-Pass lane into a race against moisture.

     Dr. Beans felt the movement of time and looked up from his nap. The slack-jawed postal employee was making his way up the block, his tongue dangling from his mouth. The dog sensed the mail carrier's apprehension and smelled the transplanted salivary gland. He waited.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Renewed Commitment to this Blog

     So, every so often I make a pathetic post about how I've neglected this blog, and how I'm going to actually go back to blogging here instead of working on other blog-related projects. But this time, I mean it. I swear. I'm going to change my ways and blog here, really. To prove it, I even put this url on my Twitter account. Shh.... Don't tell anyone that I don't use Twitter that often--but I will now. I will! I'll learn to love Twitter. Or maybe I won't. Either way.

     Here's the update. I finished working on the third draft of my book although I still keep going back to the first three chapters, knowing that there's something I can do better. So I took it out of Comic Sans. Ha! No, I'm kidding. Really. See, there I go again, destroying your trust in me. It was never in Comic Sans. But I really want to be able to condense that first chapter, and jump right into the action--which I do, but I'll probably try to do it better. Again. And again. Until I develop Writers' OCD (which would be the OCD belonging to many writers, not just me,) or until I fall into a ridiculously deep abyss of non-productivity and my book goes nowhere slower than most.