10 Reasons Why a Nuclear Holocaust Wouldn't Be That Bad

I'm not really the type of person to be all gung-ho about war or nuclear holocausts, however, these are things I tend to think about. And I think about them in very unorthodox ways. Then again, most of what I think, and subsequently say,  is quite unorthodox, and I daresay that's why people keep listening. So, since it's been a while since I've posted, and since there have been a few other incidents to overshadow the horrors in Japan, thus forcing it out of the news cycle, I'd say that now is a good time to write the list I've been itching to write since the word "Fukushima" entered my vocabulary.

10 Reasons Why a Nuclear Holocaust Wouldn't Be That Bad

1. Never have a bad hair day again. Of course, it's likely that you won't be having any kind of day again, but you're guaranteed that whatever it is, it definitely won't be a bad hair day.
2. That extra arm-hand combination growing out of your abdomen ensures that you'll never again have to bend down to pick things up. Great for people with bad backs.
3. People with cancer would be cured with radiation. However, people without cancer might actually get cancer. But they'd be quickly cured. Win-win.
4. If you hate your job, don't worry. You're probably not going back.
5. No more seasonal allergies!
6. In debt up to your eyeballs? It's unlikely that your creditors will be contacting you.
7. The world becomes a squatter's paradise.
8. All of those horrible social engagements that you were tied to are now very unlikely to take place.
9. Great hallucinations without the hallucinogens.
10. No more painful visits to the in-laws!

Of course, you wouldn't be able to read Bus 174, my latest story on New Vilna Review....

my radio interview

A while back, in another life, I posted the transcript of a radio interview that I had done and after many years (I posted this on my old blog back in 2008) I thought it would be a great post to share again.

the other day i was lucky enough to be interviewed (by phone) on a prominent new york radio station regarding my upcoming film, "i eat goat." here is the transcript.

transcript of bec's radio interview

interviewer: today we have a very special guest via telephone from israel, bec ______, the up and coming writer who has put together the comedic documentary, "i eat goat," due to hit the indie film festivals this summer. hello bec!

bec: hey! i'm sorry, what's your name again?

interviewer: bob.

bec: hey bob!

bob: hey bec!

bec: hey bob!

bob: hey yourself. so bec, how did you get started in film?

bec: well, it all started one evening when my husband and i were ordering food from this pakistani-italian restaurant and they didn't have lamb karahi.

bob: really?

bec: they asked if i wanted goat. i said, "sure, i eat goat!" and the film was on its way.

bob: now i hear that it's taken you quite a while to put this film together.

bec: we had some production difficulties. first we didn't have a camera. then we didn't have a goat. then we had kids. all the while we were still working on the scripts.

bob: when did you finally get the scripts done?

bec: to tell you the truth, bob, they're still not done.

bob: what do you mean?

bec: we're still working on them. and i'm in the middle of a poetry project as well as my short story collection.

bob: so you have a short story collection?

bec: yes, but it's currently being sent out for publication as individual pieces. apparently the publishers don't realize that my work is much better than the current drivel they've been putting out, but i'm okay with that. i've become immune to failure.

bob: why is that?

bec: what choice do i have? i can't decide who will publish what. i can only produce and hope for the best.

bob: but you expect rejection?

bec: i aim for rejection. that way there are no surprises and i know what to expect.

bob: that's a pretty unique way of approaching a career in writing. what will you do if your work is accepted?

bec: i will promptly refuse to sign any contracts and beg them to reconsider.

bob: interesting strategy, bec.

bec: thank you, bob.

bob: so what's your plan regarding the independent film festivals this summer?

bec: i'm trying to convince the bedouin shepherds here to loan me a goat for this film. so far there's been a language barrier, but they have given me some hashish and two chickens. i'm still trying to convince them that a goat would be in their best interest and they'd make a percentage from the film profits.

bob: well, okay. thank you, bec. it was a pleasure speaking with you, an up and coming writer and filmmaker.

bec: no bob. thank you.

A Happy Day Indeed

Happy day!!!! Errant Parent posted my essay, "The Six Secrets of Unstressed Families" on their site! Totally excited because this now puts me in the category of "professional writers."

The past few months have been crazy. I had some work and am looking for another position. I finally submitted Unorthodox! to a theater I've been checking out. Getting their application done was really rough. There were these moments of "who am I kidding?" coupled with "of course I can do this!" but both came at inopportune times, as is often the case with most things, I suppose. I recently wrote a pretty decent review of the film "Trembling Before G-d" for a grad class I just finished and I'd really like to rework the paper for possible publication. Since the film came out several years ago, I can't say that what I have to say hasn't yet been said, but it's worth a try. And I'm hoping that the rest of my submissions are picked up. I'm so glad I  didn't quit my day job to be a writer. Then again, I don't currently have a day job, so that makes things even more interesting. 

not being boring

Well, it's not real--yet. But hopefully it will be one day. Right now, Unorthodox! is being sent around for possible second readings and possible production. I've been out of touch for a while, doing job interviews, taking a bartending course, writing, dealing with sick kids (only my own) so it's been a bit hectic over here. However, I still haven't lost track of my writing goals.
I have an acceptance from Errant Parent, who will be publishing an article I wrote in March. I'm also gathering info for an article I want to write on the non-fiction side of things exposing some issues that certain people do not want exposed. That's all I'm saying for now on that.
I was wondering if there are actually people who live normal, stable lives without much excitement, drama and other issues. Sometimes I wonder if it would be better to be boring and not be so extreme. And then I wonder if I was boring, would I have anything to write about?

doing the can-can

Sylvia Plath is quoted as saying "And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt." I can't agree more. I keep thinking that the saddest question is "what if I can't?" but I don't think that that's an option anymore. Ms. DeMaria, my second grade teacher, used to tell us that "there's no such thing as can't" and I didn't really understand how that was even possible. In retrospect, I'm going with the idea that we can do anything as long as we believe that we can. And since I have no choice anymore, I'm taking all of the self-doubt and sticking it in a canvas bag filled with rocks and dropping it into the ocean. After all, I keep saying that I'm going to change the world. I should probably exhibit some confidence, or at least have some to exhibit.
Instead of doing my Nanowrimo novel this month like I'd planned, I've been ankle-deep in revising Unorthodox! and creating some new pieces. I currently have seven pieces in submission, not counting plays, and I'm looking for a place to host a staged reading of Unorthodox! or better, someone to take it on and produce it. That will take a bit of work on my end, but I'm willing. I'm also continuing to put together the stories for the short story collection I've been threatening for a year now, and I think that I'm very close to the point of searching for an agent.
As an aside, check out the pictures from our reading at The Creek and The Cave. You can find the link on the side bar of my blog. And friend Erica Sherman photographer on Facebook. She's the excellent photographer who gave her Saturday to do photos for this endeavor. I cannot thank her enough for a job beautifully done.
I also just realized how nice and proper I am on this blog. It's a great foil for the say anything approach I take to writing....

A little bit on the first official reading of Unorthodox!

So, we did it. We had the first official reading of Unorthodox! I say "we" because at some point, this stopped feeling like my personal project and started feeling like we all had something to gain. We were given use of the theater at Long Island City's The Creek and The Cave, readers came out from all over, old friends and new came to listen, to consider, to criticize and to congratulate.
There is something incredible in hearing two dimensional characters granted that third dimension. My readers brought life to my characters and insights that I never would have gotten without their help. Yesterday's reading gave such depth to the issues in the script and really showed me where the problems were. Most of the things they pointed out were things that I did think needed help, however, I couldn't be sure before this part of the process. New issues were raised, new voices were heard. For the first time in my life I felt like I could see the future--and the future is cozy with revisions. And it's all good.
The positive feedback I've received has had me on the brink of tears all day. To be regarded as a serious artist honing her craft has always been my goal. But especially as someone who has always suffered with feelings of self-doubt, to have constructive criticism that didn't hurt (yes, that's why it's constructive, I get that!) and be able to walk away feeling like I can take this higher is an amazing feeling. I cannot, for the life of me, understand why I ever left play writing in favor of straight fiction. It may have had something to do with the pain in the ass margins--but I'm not sure. What I do know is that my teaching career seems to be at a standstill since I cannot find a job. I know that I'm giving a few theater workshops. I also know how much I love where Unorthodox! is taking me. Maybe something new is being born here. I'm just going to ride it out and see where it goes.
I also want to make a point of thanking all of my friends and family who have stood by me in the writing, the rewriting, the planning, the reading, and now in the revising of Unorthodox! I could not have gotten this far without all of my wonderful and amazing people. Their support and love has proven bottomless and I hope they know just how much I appreciate them all, and how in awe of them I stand. I could thank them for days on end and never exhaust my gratitude. All I know is that when we take this thing to the top, I expect to be celebrating with those who were there yesterday and then some. My people are just incredible and amazing, still, after all these years.
Okay, enough, before I get all weepy. Got to get that edge back now so I can pass out and dream up some more insane inspiration.

Preparing for UNORTHODOX!

It's been a while. I've been busy. Yeah, I know. Excuses, excuses. But let me explain.
An old friend of mine has a friend who is a professional actress. She has a friend who is a director. This friend of hers agreed to let me use her theater for the first official reading of UNORTHODOX!, the play I've been working on since April. The original reading, scheduled for September 26, was canceled due to a lack of people up in the boonies by me who were willing to read. So now, we're moving the reading down to a theater space in Long Island City. I'm totally psyched about this. Like, you have no idea.
There are still a lot of loose ends that need to be tied up, and I don't think that any of the people who've been involved in UNORTHODOX! have any idea just how grateful I've been for their support. Friends who've been there from the beginning of this thing and those who are just new to my insanity have been wonderful. I have old friends who've agreed to read, new friends who've agreed to read--it's just incredible how people will come out to support each other.
I've also been working on my theater/improv for educators workshop that I'm scheduled to give in November. And I can't help but be a bit fatalistic. So, when the reading is over and I'm home again planning my next move, then I'll relax and be thrilled that I managed to pull the whole thing off.