Thursday, March 10, 2011

Impossible Ass Meets Impossible Head

Happy day!!!! Errant Parent posted my essay, "The Six Secrets of Unstressed Families" on their site! Totally excited because this now puts me in the category of "professional writers."
The past few months have been crazy. I had some work and am looking for another position. I finally submitted Unorthodox! to a theater I've been checking out. Getting their application done was really rough. There were these moments of "who am I kidding?" coupled with "of course I can do this!" but both came at inopportune times, as is often the case with most things, I suppose. I recently wrote a pretty decent review of the film "Trembling Before G-d" for a grad class I just finished and I'd really like to rework the paper for possible publication. Since the film came out several years ago, I can't say that what I have to say hasn't yet been said, but it's worth a try. And I'm hoping that the rest of my submissions are picked up. I'm so glad I  didn't quit my day job to be a writer. Then again, I don't currently have a day job, so that makes things even more interesting. 

Impossible Ass Meets Impossible Head

On a completely unrelated note, it has been brought to my attention that you can tell that a person is waaaaay past their skinny allowance when his/her head appears to have outgrown his/her body in pure bobble-head fashion. You know, when a person seems to look almost too delicate with a head that seems to defy all laws of physics in order to balance atop the neck. I mean, who out there doesn't want to shed a few pounds now and then? Maybe dieting would be easier for all of us if instead of losing weight, we concentrated on inflating our heads, thus making our bodies appear skinnier. This would definitely thwart the prevalence of the impossible ass, a subject I've blogged about on other blogs, as now there would exist the impossible head. I think that the impossible ass might actually help the impossible head to balance on the body that now seems almost toothpick in its existence.  (The image of a person riding on a Segway comes to mind here.) The impossible ass actually does have a degree of usefulness here as well: anyone losing balance because of the impossible head now has a cushioned landing. Nothing like a little extra to pad the fall.
Many people have asked me about the impossible ass. This is where things get complicated. What exactly is the impossible ass? The impossible ass is an ass that just seems like it shouldn't exist, either by virtue of size and or lift (and by lift, I am specifically referring to the defying of the moon's gravitational pull on all things Earth) and believability. Sometimes you have to see something to believe it, right? Well sometimes  even seeing isn't believing.
I hope that clears things up for now regarding impossibility in the ass and head world. There will be more on this at later points and I do plan to post a bit more often than before.


  1. Congrats on becoming a "professional writer"!

  2. Oh, I love and agree with the wobbly head evidence.

    Followed you here from your hilarious post at errant parent.

    WOnderfully funny here.

    Thank you

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